hey ashley.
a little message, made of pixels
this weekend, i officially received a sign.
hannah and kelli were asking about you.
my heart sank when i heard that you're moving away.
i don't know your timeline for that.
and i understand your decision.
i've been thinking about this for a while.
i held off because of the wedding.
i didn't want this on your mind.
and if you've already found someone, i'm sorry for reaching out.
but i wouldn't reach out if i wasn't 100% sure.
looking back, it was my fault.
i don't know what i was thinking when i didn't fight for us.
i was a fool for letting go when everything i had was right in front of me.
i looked at things too transactionally.
i didn't think things through as a team.
i should have (like you always said).
when things got hard, i'd go quiet instead of talking it through.
i'd brush things off and pull away, hoping they'd just fix themselves.
i was conditioned to believe fights were bad, and avoidable.
i learned the hard way that they're unavoidable.
but as a team, we can go through them and figure things out.
since then, i've been growing and learning.
and i think you'd be really proud of the person i've become, and will continue to be.
i don't want to pick up where we left off...
i'd love a fresh start.
if we start again, i want to go back to dating you.
it's something i let slip after your surgery.
i want to do all the date things again.
- trying new experiences
- coffee dates
- new dinners
- movie nights
- trying new foods
and i promise i will.
ask me anything. where i've been, who i've met, what i've learned.
no secrets. i'm an open book.
i'm willing to drop anything to make this happen.
no pressure. no expectations.
just an open door, whenever (or if ever) you want it.
i know i'm asking for a lot...
but if you ever want to try again, or even just say hi...
i have so much more to say and talk about, if you're up for it.
i'll be here.
regardless of your decision, i'll always be rooting for you.
thank you for everything.